1. |
Butterscotch
03:21
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VERSE 1
The bus smells of butterscotch but it's still taking me to work
somewhere that's far from being a meritocracy
The bus smells of butterscotch but it's still taking me to work
a building full of stress, boredom, and stationary
VERSE 2
The street smells of custurd but it still leads to the office
a place full of narrow minded bureaucrats
The street smells of custurd but it still leads to the office
where my co-workers feel like doormats
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2. |
Glass-Steel-Concrete
03:49
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VERSE 1
there's a new corporate building being constructed
at the corner of monument and try-hard
the cranes are here and the beams are hoisted
extensive assets are the trump card
CHORUS
glass
steel
concrete
VERSE 2
An international firm with an extensive payroll
A corporation with diverse interests
A sleek enterprise always in control
A major player in global business
VERSE 3
another office building that looks the same
a compromise, a vanilla mess
trying to be both ostentaious and tame
a bland attempt to impress
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||||
3. |
||||
|
VERSE 1
I remember my first day seems like a long time ago now
The building was like a giant finger flipping me off
CHORUS
Welcome to
The bureaucracy
I said welcome to
The bureaucracy
VERSE 2
I'd been standing still for what seemed like years
seems the only way to leave is to get fired
VERSE 3
There has to be something more than this
Got to find it before I run out of time
|
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4. |
Consultant
03:52
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|
VERSE 1
your management hired
a consultant
because they don't know
what they want
but they could have
asked around
instead of hiring an outsider
from uptown
CHORUS
oh, here comes the consultant
oh, here comes the consultant
to tell your boss things you've already said
that were ignored and fell down dead
VERSE 2
so now this interloper
is in your firm
interviewing people
soon it'll be your turn
do you still think
you'll be employed
or will your bosses fire you
because they're annoyed?
VERSE 3
so now the consultant
is presenting their report
behind closed doors
like a secret court
management would never
listen to your advice
but they'll hear it from the consultant
for a price
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5. |
Office Joker
03:01
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VERSE 1
You think you're a funny guy
I can't figure out why
Because you're a tosser
You play annoying pranks
Your jokes always tank
Because you're a waster
CHORUS
You're the office joker
You're a turd smoker
You're the office joker
The office joker
VERSE 2
You think you're on TV
But everyone else can see
A sad pathetic wanker
Don't want to see your face
You're a waste of space
With no friends or future
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6. |
Skiver
02:39
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VERSE 1
You always say you're going to a meeting
But I know that you've been cheating
on your manager
timesheeting
You've been avoiding work
by not being at your desk
acting like you're swamped
but people have checked
CHORUS
You're a skiver
VERSE 2
When you've not been around
we have found
no difference
to what goes down
we're starting to suspect
that you don't do anything
That despite your claims
you're doing nothing
BREAK
But I'm not really going to get done
none of you will tell anyone
You would all do it too
if you thought you
could get away with it
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7. |
Evil Doppelgänger
03:11
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|
VERSE 1
Since my first day here
you've made it very clear
that you think I'm incompetant
a pointless peasant pissant
I don't know what I've done
to bring your hatred on
Except remind you of yourself
when you were in better health
CHORUS
You're my evil doppelgänger
You're my evil doppelgänger
You're a bringer of danger
A fountain of anger
You're my evil doppelgänger
You're my evil doppelgänger
Like a dog in a manger
you're growling at me
VERSE 2
Despite our broad similarity
You're lacking in sympathy
Woefully deficient in intellect
Difficult questions you deflect
maybe I should feel sorry for you
and all the nasty schemes you do
but then I catch myself
it's a lapse that's bad for my health
BREAK
This job is a compromise for me
but it's the best you'll ever see
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8. |
Risky Shift
03:11
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|
VERSE 1
The power of the group can't be denied
but when you take a look inside
prepare yourself for a shock
it's like looking under a rock
there's no feeling of personal blame
so group members feel no shame
in making decisions that are perverse
borderline or flat out in reverse
CHORUS
risky shift, that's the risky shift
you can get caught up by it
in a meeting over a certain size
bad decisions creep up in disguise
VERSE 2
I have often felt the lurch
as a group of people seem to go beserk
they get a sense of power
unchecked it takes over
no matter what the role
they feel that they're in control
but the tyres start to squeal
no-one's holding the steering wheel
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9. |
In The Bin
02:22
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VERSE 1
Hey, there's a pile of old gear
nobody wants
People say it's obsolete
and can't be used for anything
Like a rusty chair
or a dying plant
People want to be discrete
and put it in the bin
CHORUS
In the bin
In the bin
VERSE 2
By the dumpsters around the back
is a pile
There's broken desks
things that have no use
Can't just put things in a sack
for disposal
Because the council check
and then they refuse
BREAK
It's really hard to dispose of this stuff correctly
so you've dumped it somewhere discretely
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10. |
Sticky Stick
02:09
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|
VERSE 1
Got myself a sticky stick
it's short and not very thick
it doesn't work as intended
there's no way to get it mended
VERSE 2
And that's not the only problem
these notes are hard to pin down
they don't stay like they should
regardless if the desk is metal or wood
VERSE 3
So I tried to put this on tape
but that was another mistake
it splits when it comes off the reel
it loses it's adhesive appeal
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11. |
Excrement Pie
03:12
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VERSE 1
What did you think this job was going to be?
You knew before it started what you were going to see
So there's no point complaining now you have second thoughts
It's too late now, your free time has been bought
CHORUS
Would you like some more excrement pie?
would you like us to poke you in the eye?
Would you like some more excrement pie?
would you like your P45?
VERSE 2
So you moan and grumble at your desk
You claim this job is making you stressed
There's something you need to think about
Your dismissal would leave you down and out
BREAK
Aren't you concerned that everyone will leave?
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12. |
Clockwatcher
03:17
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|
VERSE 1
sitting here, looking at the clock
sitting here, looking at the clock
sometimes I think it has stopped
sometimes I think it has stopped
CHORUS
I'm a clockwatcher
I won't pretend
I'm waiting
for the day to end
VERSE 2
There's a feeling that I have
There's a feeling that I have
sometimes I think I'm going mad
sometimes I think I'm going mad
VERSE 3
someone tell me, I want to know
someone tell me, I want to know
when's the earliest I can go?
when's the earliest I can go?
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13. |
Hype Up Song
02:46
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VERSE 1
It's too early in the morning
for a job that's boring
stressful, and unpleasent
but I need to pay the rent
CHORUS
I need a hype up song
Everything is wrong
I need a hype up song
I've had this job too long
VERSE 2
Stuck in this office
my career's a mess
I really need a tune
because I deal with buffoons
BREAK - 10 bars
If you're so peeved
why don't you leave
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14. |
Wanker In A Waistcoat
02:47
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VERSE 1
you wear a fancy suit to avoid getting
your hands covered in dirt
you never take off your jacket
it might stain your shirt
you drive a SUV instead of a car
looking like you work in a host bar
CHORUS
You're a wanker in a waistcoat
a wanker in a waistcoat
a stupid scroate
You're a wanker in a waistcoat
a wanker in a waistcoat
with a face like a goat
a wanker in a waistcoat
yeah a wanker in a waistcoat
VERSE 2
pull your shirt cuffs anxiously
when lying to your team
Do a nervous tap dance when you're
explaining your scheme
You wear a blazer with brass buttons
they have anchors embossed on them
BREAK
What a colossally insincere person you are
Blue Steel when you're walking down the corridor
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15. |
Hold Music
02:21
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VERSE 1
Don't keep telling me that my call is important to you
Stop informing me of my number in the queue
Give me some idea of when I might hear a voice
a human voice
CHORUS
Stop playing me hold music
VERSE 2
I've been on hold for what seems like hours
My attitude towards your business has soured
I'll give you some advice it won't be very nice at all
no not at all
OUTRO
Stop playing me hold music
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16. |
9 Years
03:40
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VERSE 1
I overheard someone say
that they'd been here 9 years
I couldn't imagine how
that might have felt
but now I'm beginning
to have some idea
CHORUS
Being here for 9 years
VERSE 2
They were sitting in the
staff cafeteria
complaining about the hand
they'd been dealt
how they felt trapped in
this employment area
BREAK
How do people let things get so bad?
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17. |
Gold Star
04:26
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VERSE 1
so you've been working here for a while
you've fit right in with the established office style
done nothing at all to stand out
but somehow you've come
to the attention of management
your presence is requested
not sure what that meant
maybe they're going to scream and shout? }
CHORUS
well done
here's a gold star
the management are certain
you will go far
well done
here's a gold star
although we can't remember
who you are
who you are
VERSE 2
that experience was just intolerable
a bollocking would have been preferable
but now you've been singled out for praise
You have been put in a position
colleagues are looking at you with derision
you're a toady who's angling for a raise
VERSE 3
so what to do about your predicament
could it be your career is now spent?
is everyone waiting for you
to make a wrong call?
you start to think that everyone's watching
you're paranoid now, you're suspecting
you'll soon be facing your downfall
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18. |
Signature
03:27
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VERSE 1
something's happened to my signature of late
it's become italicised and oblate
emboldened, looping, and obfuscated
the letters obliterated
CHORUS
I can no longer read my signature
I can no longer read my signature
it no longer has any features
I can no longer read my signature
VERSE 2
it looks like a spider had died
or that somebody had tried
to write while being electrocuted
or with the shivers afflicted
VERSE 3
I know the cause of the problem
it's the frequency I have to put down
my name on a piece of paper
I've become a stationary hater
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19. |
Trombone Etiquette
04:21
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VERSE 1
my desk is in the middle of an open plan office
it causes me trouble and untold stress
co-workers steal pens from me whether I am there or not
I don't think it's funny it has to stop
CHORUS
This is not trombone etiquette
This is not trombone etiquette
This is not trombone etiquette
This is not trombone etiquette
This is not trombone etiquette
This is not trombone etiquette
trombone etiquette
trombone etiquette
trombone etiquette
VERSE 2
not just pens that go astray when colleagues are passing through
it's a varied array of stuff I lose
my stapler went missing and my card file index blanks
not hallucinating I'm not a crank
VERSE 3
The stationary cupboard's locked and I'm losing my patience
my requests have been blocked met with silence
Every time my back is turned one more item disappears
my boss is unconcerned and cavalier
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20. |
I'm Busy
03:14
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VERSE 1
You claim that you have so much work to do
but everyone here's been watching you
they've become wise to your act
as a matter of fact
You pretend you're loaded down with work
when really all you do is shirk
whenever you're asked to do something
you start complaining and whining
CHORUS
I'm busy
that's what you say
I'm busy
every day
I'm busy
you're doing nothing
I'm busy
except skiving
VERSE 2
I'm here to tell you that no-one's fooled
We haven't come straight out of school
We've seen this kind of act in the past
from people who are just ballast
your game hasn't gone unnoticed
doesn't matter how much you protest
your tactics have caused resentment
but you'll get some punishment
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21. |
Papertrail
02:32
|
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VERSE 1
A company sent a friendly note
I put it in the pocket of my coat
Forgot completely that it was there
Perhaps I didn't really care
I saw an empty envelope
On top of an oscilloscope
It reminded me of something
Like a knot in a piece of string
CHORUS
Papertrail
oh I think it's failed
Papertrail
it's become derailed
Papertrail
Papertrail
VERSE 2
And so it seems I was informed
and then summarily warned
by e-mail and then phone call
my account had hit the wall
This is all news to me
I can say with certainty
Don't know what this is all about
As people start to shout
|
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22. |
Going On Holiday?
02:12
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VERSE 1
Maybe you're thinking of going away
Maybe you're thinking of going on holiday
Well stop right there don't think
that they won't care
They have something to say
CHORUS
Are you going on holiday?
VERSE 2
Maybe you're thinking about telling a lie
Maybe you're thinking it might just slip by
But some sneak will tell and you'll
be up shit creek
you'll be hung out to dry
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23. |
You Are A Wanker
02:45
|
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|
VERSE 1
I've finally had enough
of all your bullshit and other stuff
I have to get out of my chair
to tell you you're being unfair
CHORUS
You are a wanker
a foul canker
You are a wanker
a merchant banker
VERSE 2
Now you look so surprised
there's shock in your eyes
no-one's ever done this before
told you "no more"
VERSE 3
Now I'm standing on a table
you are completely unable
to do anything about this
you must stop taking the piss
BREAK
I'm putting up with this no more
I'm walking out the door
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24. |
I Won't Miss This Place
03:23
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VERSE 1
My time in this job is coming to an end
it's so close that I can almost taste it
I have no more misdiscretions to defend
there's no going back I want to commit
CHORUS
I won't miss this place
I won't miss this place
I want to be somewhere else
VERSE 2
heading through the other end of the telescope
the lens focuses light and the bridges burn
but I know it's going to be easy to cope
seen other people leave and now it's my turn
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